The Four Agreements

I think on some level, we would all like to experience a little more joy in our lives. I mean you can be happy, but can you be happy in any situation? Do you truly know how to bring yourself to a place of peace regardless of the offense? I have some tips!

(well in this particular post, Dan Miguel Ruiz has some tips)

Have you heard about the Four Agreements? I forget about them from time to time but whenever I find myself getting agitated by things "other people" are doing, or what I think they are doing, I try to remember these principles.

1. Be Impeccable with your word.

I would think most of us are doing fairly well here. I don't believe too many people are walking around making promises and not keeping them, lying or purposefully trying to deceive others. The personal gain here is worth it all in itself. We feel good when we give to others, when people can depend on us, when we are living true to who we say we are.

2. Don't take anything personally.

I think this is a BIG one and it takes practice to master.

The reason it's hard is because we aren't always aware how often we take things personally; and that WE can change it. You can only be offended if you allow it! It is NOT someone else's fault if they do something you do not like. It is up to you to control your thoughts, responses and actions. If someone does something truly awful such as lies to you or betrays you, it may hurt, but it is up to you to choose how to respond and move forward.

Please also remember, to have the most joy that you can possibly have in your life, consider most of the time, people are not behaving in the way you think or talking about you or intentionally offending you. It is the story you're telling yourself around the situation. How many times have you been all worked up over a situation you THOUGHT was happening only to find out you were wrong? Remember that next time you start to get worked up over a situation. Which leads us to the next one...

3. Don't make assumptions.

Once again, we walk through life with a certain filter. We see things through the lens of our past experiences, attitudes and beliefs and sometimes we're just dead wrong.

Try erasing your thoughts about people, places and situations and try to walk into everything with a clean slate. This will improve your marriage, relationships, your job etc. Just let go of your thoughts about people and pretend like you're meeting them for the first time. No judgement, no expectation, no assumption.

4. Always do your best.

This one seems pretty obvious. Of course we always try to do our best because we know what happens when we don't. We all know when we fall short of our own expectations. When we cheat ourselves or don't follow through on something for another person, we feel the guilt or shame don't we? If you constantly let yourself or others down, you're just plain going to feel bad about yourself. So I know for me, I try really hard to just do what has to get done so I don't have things hanging over my head or disappoint others. Life is just better when we handle things. We feel accomplished, happier, smarter, and like we're actually getting somewhere.

My biggest takeaway from this post is that I want us all to remove our filters, judgments and expectations of others and of experiences we encounter. Try to walk in to everything like it's new and be open to what you can learn from it.

If you have to post reminders in your car do it. If you need to say a quick prayer before you meet with people, do it. I pray for God to help me be open minded. I literally do this several times a day sometimes. I clear my head and go in without preconceived ideas and I'm always amazed at the outcome. When I miss this, when I go into situations with judgement, I am almost always wrong and I can totally make it very awkward.

If you have areas in your life where you struggle with this, please reach out and we can discuss. It takes practice to change our thinking for sure but it can be done and is very rewarding.

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Peace & Love,

Donna